Dan'L

I had gone to Montana to conquer some of the demons that had haunted me over the years. Everyone who knew me said I was crazy. Deb supported me even though I think she also thought I had lost it. Moving out here was not an easy task on top of the fact that we didn’t know anyone. The risk was great for both our careers, but we made the jump despite the risk.

After moving, I got to know my neighbor across the road, Tedd. When we moved in, he was in the process of building a houseboat. Over time, we began doing Tuesdays with Tedd, consisting of going to the local brewery where we would drink beer, eat burgers and listen to the Irish jam band that played there. We were snagged. During this time, I was introduced to Dan’L. Dan’L had lived in the Flathead area since the early 80’s. He and I began having weekly conversations about Montana life. The conversations ranged from music to blacksmithing to hiking in the mountains.  He had been a backcountry guide in Glacier National Park and surrounding areas since the early 90’s. The man was full of a wealth of knowledge, especially relating to the outdoors. 

Fast forward a few months, Bias brewing was hosting a cribbage tournament that Deb and I were supposed to be in. I decided to not join as I was late from work. So Deb was upstairs kicking butt and taking names (during which I was making sure that her cup did not run dry). While that was going on, I was sitting downstairs and to my surprise the session band was playing. Dan’L came over to where I was sitting and started talking to me. I mentioned that Deb was upstairs playing cribbage and his eyes got big. He asked if we played a lot to which I said we did. He then told me about this game that he played with a group on Thursdays called TurboCribbage. He invited us to join that Thursday, which we accepted. Now something that I picked up on quickly after moving to Montana, was that people would give directions but not necessarily addresses, which was a little different for us Yanks. He had said to look for the house with the chain link fence and his truck. The issue was that neither Deb nor I knew what his truck looked like along with the fact that there were a lot of trucks in Montana as I swiftly learned. Again, unfamiliar territory for us Yanks’. Not only did we miss Barb’s house but we may have gone up to random houses knocking and asking if they played turbocribbage. Not the smartest thing to do in Montana. We were eventually flagged down by Dan’L and everyone on our way back through. It was such an amazing time. Deb and I left talking about how much we had enjoyed  ourselves and looked forward to the following week. Thursdays became another highlight of our weeks. We looked forward to learning more about the game, turbocribbage, but more than anything, enjoyed the camaraderie, laughter, and of course a cold beer. 

One of the biggest highlights for me was when I was trying to plan Deb’s birthday. Hellen, Dan’L’s partner, offered to make ice cream and her special cake (best damn cake I had ever ate, oh did I mention it was vegan and to top it off the lemon glaze? Damn). What a great time we had as a group, eating and playing turbo. 

The following February, Deb needed to fly back to Boston to have a procedure done. I was sitting on the plane as we flew back from Boston. Often, during these times I would turn on music and think. My mind often drifted back to past times and places along with the people I shared them with. As I was listening to the song ‘the Rowan tree', I suddenly got a text from Barb. Hellen had found Dan’L dead in their hot tub. I was stung, I just couldn't believe it. I had seen death's face many times and at the cost of those who I held close.  

When I thought about all of this, I simply kept coming back to the idea of kindness and friendship. Dan’L taking the time to talk with a couple strangers and the friendships that came from that. 

Every time that I open a new beer, I will think of you Dan’L. Wherever you are, may the beer be cold, crisp and new. May the pipe be packed full. May the mountain wind always be at your back. And may the sun always shine on your face.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." – From an Irish headstone